Saturday, November 26, 2011

She Forgot Why She Doesn't Talk to Her

This really happened on Thanksgiving Day, 2011.

Great-Grandma was sitting at the table, she's got a touch of the Alzheimer's. She leaned in close to another relative and pointed to a third relative (her former daughter-in-law) and said, "I don't talk to her."

"Why not?" asked the curious relative.

Great-Grandma started slowly shaking her head. "I don't remember," she said sadly.

Time is too precious to waste not talking to people, when someday we might not remember why.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Funny Stories

After doing a lot of grieving, which is a sad, longing, and lonely feeling, it is good to have a happy memory to share.

My father once had a dream that Dobby the House Elf was chasing him, and he reached up and threw the TV remote at him. He and my mom woke up when the remote crashed into the wall for real. We always laugh when we remember that story, and it connects me back to Harry Potter, as well as my dad.

Maybe you have a funny story to share about someone you lost. If you want to, share it here. I'll listen.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


As soon as my father died, I found myself, in my mind, crying out "Daddy!" I appealed to heaven, I appealed to the sky, I cried out to the darkness within. Daddy.

Like a little child, I needed my Daddy. I wanted my Daddy. I longed for my Daddy.

Inside us all, we still know that little child.

And I was reminded that Jesus called out "Abba!" which means, Papa, Daddy.

Everything will be different

The one thought that keeps going through my mind is that everything will be different from now on. Every time I go over to my parent's house and my dad isn't there, it's different.
Every time I want to tell my dad something and he's not there, it's different.
This Thanksgiving will be different. My whole world is different.
When someone leaves us, everything is different. That takes some getting used to.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Permission to Grieve

No one can grieve for you, and no matter how kind people are, they can't take the grief away. Grieving must just be done, and the time it takes is the time it takes.

Our minds do various things. We think about the last few months and the last few days of our loved one's life. We think about our relationship with that person. We go back over that. We go over their life. We contemplate our own death. It's work, and we need to take time for it. We need to give ourselves permission to take the time to grieve.