No one can grieve for you, and no matter how kind people are, they can't take the grief away. Grieving must just be done, and the time it takes is the time it takes.
Our minds do various things. We think about the last few months and the last few days of our loved one's life. We think about our relationship with that person. We go back over that. We go over their life. We contemplate our own death. It's work, and we need to take time for it. We need to give ourselves permission to take the time to grieve.